Monday, May 25, 2009

Dispatch from the Information Ministry, May 17

    On the people’s pitch the Devils played yet another disciplined game that resulted in a triumph for the Marxist-Satanic revolution.  The Tartan Devils battled through an opiate haze to claim a 2-0 victory over Jesus and his 10 disciples (also known as Allegheny United to those in Opus Dai).

    The first nail in AU’s cross came in the first half when “Karl” Mac’s penalty shot put the Devils in the lead. The second nail came a few minutes later when Comrade Neil practicing quintessential wealth redistribution fed a perfect corner kick to the Young Pioneer who buried the cross in the back of the net.

    The final act of revolutionary crucifixion came about as TDFC’s “Gang of Four” and James “The Minister of Defense” fought off a late desperate surge by Jerry Falwell, St. Martin, and all the other minions of The Holy Hand Grenade, to keep a virgin sheet.

    This victory was the next step in the revolution proving that religion is “the opiate of the masses” and Tartan Devils FC can smoke any opponent on any day.

All photo's by Jack Megaw

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