Thursday, August 27, 2009

Dispatch: Ministry of Information, August 23

As the second half of the season gets underway, the Glorious People’s Team Tartan Devils FC fought a hardscrabble match with decadent foes Mt. Lebanon/Heidleberg. The opposition fielded quite a different, more expanded and bolstered squad from the last meeting when the Glorious People’s Team won 6-0. It came as no surprise to the TDFC bench that the opponent bench was filled with substitutes eager to do counter-revolutionary sabotage to the People’s aspirations on the pitch. The Pub Heroes knew the rust of industry past would be hard to chip away from a summer of limited instruction, the ways of the West rearing it's bourgeois head...

The bitter opponents to the People’s cause fought a tough match. The only goal of the day came when the deceptive counter-revolutionaries drew the TDFC Gang of Four out, leaving Keeper Comrade “Che” James in a tough spot. The ball – almost certainly under the counter-revolutionary spell of the promise of decadent wealth in the form of bribes from the enemy – took a most anti-collectivist bounce and ended up in the net of the People’s Team.

This moment was the only one in which the Gang of Four was not in exemplary form at the back of the defensive end of the field for the TDFC. Each had excellent moments of collective and individual success in keeping the lines of defense for the struggle in order.

The midfield Red Brigades were also strong, with Paul “Pot”, Comrade Jamie and Mikhail Baldwinovich and Comrade “Uncle” Joe working in tandem with the strength and heart of the front grunts to create chances in the attacking Red Zone. And chances were made! Comrade Wayne had a brilliant diving header (reminiscent of KGB Agent Bortfield’s work last spring) that tested the very fiber of the enemies defense, but to no avail. The beloved First Among Equals beaten back by the kryptonite like colors of the opponent that seemed to suffocate his Ipswich heart! And more chances were made at the boot of “Karl” Mac’s Midfield Attacking Generalship! His vision always apparent and decisive, A Player of the Match if ever there was one to be! The Bench Mob added to the collectivist agitation of the battle on the pitch. The Polit Bureau was all the while keeping soviet style oversight of the match.

The result of the day may place a mark in the “L” column for Tartan Devils FC, but the lessons learned and the revolutionary spirit of collective will of the Pub WON on the day! Utilizing our strength - the People’s strength- the Glorious People’s Team is poised to take the season by Red Storm! The cogs of the machine have dismantled themselves and will be built up again with a little oil and a lotta ale! All hail the People’s Revolution! All Power to the Pub!

Photo's by Joe "Stalin" Reichard Sr. as requested by the Special Commissions Department of the Ministry of Photography

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