Thursday, September 10, 2009

Ministry of Newspeak Dispatch, August 30

All hail the Great Baldwinovich footballer, actor, well coiffed playa, and hero of the Soviet; for it was his inspired play that led TDFC to a hard fought 1-1 tie on the sunny field of Dicks; The Committee of Pressured Attack having had many students on the day!

Though all Devils are equal, some are more equal than others and the Leninist play of Mikhail Baldwinovich demonstrated this in humble fashion through silent action. This Vanguard of the Proletariat was a shining example of when the collective is faced with adversity, individuals must heed the call to arms and pick up the flag of communism and drive it into the heart of the fascist pig.

By his actions Mikhail Baldwinovich was able to move others to feats of grandeur. Duly inspired, The Dear Leader raced to the forefront of the attack (turning the Gang of Four into the Gaggle of Three), and heeding the call of the “Baldwin”, had a sure goal taken away- all involved the victims of Thought Crime (as in everyone "thought" it was a goal). “Karl” Mac’s play was akin to a Katyusha as he lobbed deceptive rockets at the opposition’s goal. The First Among Equals played indeed as the future was ours, but as we know sometimes 2+2= 5, and reality is otherwise. The Young Pioneer pressed the attack and like his demure comrade, was able to keep his perfectly designed locks in place, his actual rockets stinging a shell shocked keeper. A one on one opportunity yielded disappointment, proving as taught by Big Brother, that the individual mind makes mistakes.

The mids made mockery of motivated attempts to exploit the gut of the pitch. Again and again the opposition was mauled by the Green Brigade as marveled by the even more diminutive and honorarily titled "Wee Mikey". The complimentary Red Brigade understanding the lead of comrades all lending to the idea that war is indeed peace. Control and defensive assistance , while offering offensive support make the footballers of TDFC the real Monsters of the Midway!

The afore mentioned Gaggle of Three with the Minister of Street Justice, lived their day in singular coverage mostly and like the Black Flag of old, repelled time and time again the notion of an organized attack on behalf of the beleaguered foe. A Bench Mob of eager players supplemented all involved on all levels, adding enthusiasm and verses of Victory to the din of competition!

Let us remove the saccharine trust of truthiness that allows the Thought Crime of what should have been and move ever forward to the hallowed ground of the Glory that is Tartan Devils FC, All-One or none! All-One! All-One!

Photo's by Comrade Jack Megaw, Ministry of Photography

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