Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Party Dispatch, September 13

The Glorious People’s Team, the Tartan Devils Football Club, steams along with all of the vigor and productivity of the revolutionary collective that they are. On 13 September, the revolutionary people’s team withstood the duckspeak of the opposition to show a solid performance at the Field of our Revolutionary Founders.

The result on the day speaks NOT to the performance of the collective, especially that of Che' James in net. The first half was all Che' James, including some brilliant saves and solid direction from the back. The score line of 2 – 1 (to the opposition), betrays the real horrorshow that was his effort, as well as that of our GLORIOUS PEOPLE’S TEAM! The collective were on an experimental system of substitution that was intended to keep the machine running at peak performance and garnish maximum results, but the download of information stripped the gears and crashed the speakwrite. More than the voices of the Bench Mob were heard as the inventive substitution scheme was implemented.

TDFC opened up the scoring on this day by the foot of Comrade AP Bratchny. His clever movement through the pitch to come up from his usual place with the Gang of Four to be in scoring position was nothing short of revolutionary vision of a brighter day; of a Five Year Plan of Goals! Doubleplus props go to said comrade who was named Proletariat of the Match, and who deferred to accept until after his numerous responsibilities in the Committee of Construction were met.

The Glorious People’s team continues its march toward victory, valor and revolution. The Collective has always won and will continue to. Those that fall victim to the thought crime of thinking otherwise will be fortunate to consider themselves useful in the work camps. By continuing to push the fascist and imperial opposition down, the People’s Team as they always have will continue to win hearts and minds in cult like fashion, from pub to pub and pitch to pitch. From factory to farmland, office to work site, the Pub Hero remains, the PEOPLE’S TEAM remains, The TDFC prospers! Glory, All One, NEVER None, Glory TDFC!

The Ministry of Photography in collusion with the Records Department have lent the visual recordings of the match to memory holes to be retrieved at a later date in their truthful entirety after consideration by The Party.

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