Friday, October 9, 2009

Dispatch: Ministry of Information, October 4

The Glorious Soviet Republic of Yinzerstan shout with victorious tongues! The People’s Team, the Tartan Devils FC defeated top of the table foes Allegheny United 1-nil. A cool grey day at the Field of Our Founders, proved to be as beautiful as the sunshine on the first day after the revolution!

A slightly compromised roster for TDFC proved to the benefit of all absent and present, as Comrade Alex DeLarge, Comrade Nando, Adam AK and Comrade Seth were more than a Gang of Four… they were a mighty IRON CURTAIN of defense! In between the pipes, Che James was a stalwart. He let nothing in (to the delight of Mr. Mckenzie) and directed with confidence from his citadel in the back.

The incessant bay of the wolves at the door was made into a whimper as the People’s Poet used laughter and his world famous Trotsky poem to draw the warmongering opposition into taking an ill advised yellow card. The foul committing AU counter-revolutionary will have nightmares for eternity as the People’s Poet verse runs through his head:

Today, I saw a dog,
Yes, a dog.
Talking to a pig,
Yes, a pig.
They were on the pavement,
Discussing Trotsky.
Not brotsky or crotsky or drotsky or frotsky.
But Trotsky...


The Midfield and Front were a constant rotating cast of revolutionary characters, including a good show from the Bench Mob. The truly collective energy of TDFC was realized and put into mock materialist proof by Comrade Brenton “Lumpin "Ain't Gonna Lump No More" Maclean” Wilson. Goalkeeper by trade, Comrade Brenton scored the only goal on the day with a willful guided blast buried in the upper right corner of the opposition’s net. The Dear Leader – nursing an injury – put Comrade Brenton on the front lines, not as a sacrifice, but in a grand sweeping moment of brilliance! Glory to the Dear Leader! Praise to Comrade Brenton! The Peace of Landru be with all!

This weeks Proletariat of the Match is a shared affair (tres communal!) – Keepers share the glory! Che James held them out at one end of the pitch, while Brenton (formerly) of the Lumpin put them in at the other end of the pitch! Power to the local Public House and all that it entails!

The ongoing investigation into the relationship between the Visual and Communicative branches of the Ministry of the Republic and the suspected collusion of the photographical branch of said committees with yet to be discovered division of 'actors' presents an ongoing look see.

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