Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Dubious derby dispatch, May 16

    On the hallowed grounds of Founders Field the fascists of Yinz United defeated the brave Soviet Heroes of TDFC 3-2. The fascist bully boys of Yinz United, led Oswald Mosley and MR. “Iron Lady”, used tactics reminiscent of the early days of the Eastern Front to drive the Tartan Devils from the field. The Dear Leader vowed that this set back would be avenged just as Mother Russia defeated the Third Reich in the Great Patriotic war so will TDFC strike back at the Yinzers. The heads of the Devils are held high!

    The crystalline method of the oppositions attack was the key to a quick lead that cast a shadow of momentary doubt over the pitch. The stalwarts of the Peoples team then matched speed with heart and desire to battle the yellow belly derby crashers. With intensity the Young Pioneer, though wounded, struck one for the home front off of a stationary play! The Young Pioneer also engineered his second goal as well, his hard work angling in from the sidelines resulting in a PK as the flustered keeper had no choice but to earn himself the красно through undignified last man play. The resulting inspired firestorm from all Devils willing had the opposition and field judges confused, as all that could be mustered in response was an unfortunate ricochet and a uncalled hand ball resulting in tallies for the foes. Based on overwhelming evidence contrary to what constitutes an actual marker, they were stricken from the record.

    In preparation for the future defeat of the Yinzers, the Ministry of Truth and Propaganda hence forth will not be led down the path of deception by the so called Yinz United. The Ministry declared that it is a misnomer to call Yinz truly “United” as this so called team is more of a coalition of various parties such as the British National Organization of Questionable Decision Making, The Ginger Hand Commandoes, and British Union of Fascists. By doing this Ministry of Truth and Propaganda has taken the first step to defeat the Yinzers by declaring their moniker void, because those who control the language control the outcome of history.

Power. To. The. People.

Photo's by Tracy Brown: Ministry of Photography, Bunker Division

1 comment:

Joseph said...

The game was 5-2 and your team was never in the match.
Ginger Hand Commando #2