Monday, May 30, 2011

Dispatch: RE: May 21, May 22

40's Old Boys, May 21st:
          On a rare spring day, the mighty Old Guard of the TDFC Collective invaded the sun baked steppes of Harmarville to take on the well-to-do dandies of Fox Chapel FC.  TDFC 4.0 used a three prong attack consisting of all lines of their formation to down the capitalist fancy lads 3-0.
    The defense held true, strong, and free against the sporadic advances.  The Minister of Virtue, the Minister of Benevolence, Iron Curtain Chris, and Killy stymied every chance taken by the opposition. So good was the back line, that when opportunity arose, the Minister of Benevolence was given the freedom to score, with help from one covert Agent 19!
    Not to be outdone, the midfield, while supporting the defense, also continued to attack with the front line.  KGB played an inspired game, as an unnamed muse cheered him on.  The oft mending Minister of Housing and, therefore, Reconstruction, delivered a heroic effort.  Playing through pain and foe, he tickled the twine, the assist from Alpha One Niner again!  Both November 17 and the Minister of Health played revolutionary football as they prowled the wings, keeping control.
    The front line embraced the Marxist theory of "Shoot At the Net and the Chains of Oppression Shall Be Broken", as they sent balls resembling Katyusha Rockets of old.  After a day of wealth distribution, Agent 19 furthered his equality by scoring, a reciprocating helper from the Minister of Housing and Reconstruction.  Sub Comandante Raul Zapata and the Minister of Martyrs pressed the day as well up top, the enemy dogs never allowed to let their guard down.
    A glorious day for the grizzled stalwarts behind enemy lines! Hail to thee, hail to thee, hail to thee!

30's Proper, May 22nd:
    The strange orb in the sky brought with it confusing heat, as the Great Jersey Debate almost became a tale of shirts and skins, but it was the most difficult part of the day; the perseverance of the TDFC Propers through humidity induced off sides, off passes, and off shots won the day 3-0!
    The kowtowed lackey's of a corrupt system brought their best, and through trickery and the compassion of the snarling overseers in yellow, kept it close, although the game was played around them most of the day.
    The defense held fast with a few self imposed trials thrown in for excitement, a clean sheet for one Minister of Street Justice left to his own solitude and devices for most of the day. Idle hands indeed!
    The eager mids in between smart volleys and aggressively won flighted balls, took the time to test each other, giving an expose on communication for the Devils Advocates on the sideline!
    A predetermined proletariat barter agreement between the Young Pioneer and the Young Upstart produced the first two goals, each with the other assisting.  The Young Pioneer added the third with a Paul Pot helper, to put any of the oppositions bankrupt theories of comeback safely to rest!  And boom goes the dynamite.

Photo's by Special Ops Jag Officer Schubert 


Thursday, May 19, 2011

Ministry of General Branding Information, RE: May 15

30's Proper, May 15th:
    While the Cruise-esque monkey wrench was taken to the righteous readiness of the Old Boys in the form of oppositional number faultiness; and the Young Ones steadfast, but at the mercy of evil land barons, the Propers were able to represent the Peoples Nation of TDFC in fine fashion, taking to the pitch proudly indifferent to the waning energy and perpetual Tom-foolery of scientology's wet weather mechanism.
    The foe, a so called FC Unt.©, whose generic moniker and off-brand potato chips belied the uninspired effort draped in black and white.  Comrade Adam AK-47 mowed down the competition early, as is tradition, unfortunately the counter-revolutionary officiating dictated a PK on the play.  Up 1-0, the generics© proceeded to leave acres of wing space for many a crossed ball into the center.  The Young Pioneer converted three of these opportunities from open play, his first ushanka-trick of the season!  Tommy Sickled and Hammered put in one more- a scrappy, bar room brawl, beautifully ugly rebound!  Helpers on the goals were from the Ministry of Street Justice, the Goldsmith, and the aforementioned smokeless Tommy S&H.
    No amount of duck speak from the opposition about Pub Hero placement or pot stirring on corners could make the difference as, through the downpour, the sun did shine on the Tartan Devils FC! All Hail the Pub!


Friday, May 13, 2011

Ministry of Information Dispatch RE: May 14, May 15

40's Old Boys, May 14th:
    TDFC 4.0 traveled to the feudal hinterlands to do battle against the imperial, less than stout, Straub MVU.  Unfortunately, the day was not to go the way of the Methuselah Bolsheviks, as they suffered their first setback.  After controlling much of the action through the short passing game and ball control, the arsenal of communism fell victim to the light cleated antics of SMVU'S Greg Louganis.  The dive resulted in a goal that had head shaking worthy of disability.  Counter revolutionary wealth distribution ensued as the Politburo momentarily lost it's senses and a second gift was given to the imperial fops.
    Never ones to surrender, TDFC 4.0 fought back as Agent 19 used his powers of disguise, and for a brief moment, looked like a graying Messi as he powered a goal into the back of the net for the good of all.  As hope seemed to be diminishing the strong play of TDFC's primary ideologue had Big Brother point to the penalty spot.  But alas, Karl Mac's teaching failed to put the dagger of finality into the heart of the imperialist state.
    The burdon of the final is not on the Pub Heroes of the sunset, but rather rests on the shoulders of the oppressors as retribution will have it's day and the echoes of lamentation shall be heard throughout the valley! 

23's Young Ones, May 15th:
    The Young Ones, the pioneers of the TDFC future, took to the field of Century to wage their first campaign, on the unsuspecting invaders amassed from three boroughs.  The 'Tri Boro Alliance' did nothing but to fan the flames of resolve in the revolutionary hearts of the Young Devils!
    Karl Mac's guidance and tutelage taught the Mac Lads well as they contributed to the cause, a virtual 'Mac Trick'; the strong midfield and smart defense providing many opportunities along with a stellar save by the Hound of Baskerville.  Comrade Garrete from the Ministry of Correct Thought assisted his brother in arms, Travis, Ministry of the Interior, who sent one in on a wire.  B. 'Bunting' Bartek then proved the distribution of wealth theory by assisting Derek the Elder, who was just warming up, as he launched a second missile of grievous bodily harm minutes later with help from Comrade Strosser.  The 3-0 win is indeed a reminder to all despots and harmful alliances!  BE WARNED!  The nature of your oppression is the aesthetic of our football!


Friday, May 6, 2011

Dispatch: Ministry of Information RE: Apr. 30, May 1

40's Old Boys, April 30th:
    The drone of electricity wires and hinterland stalwart desperation hung in air alongside the rotting carcasses of mercantilistic ventures on a day where the calvary arrived not too late, but just in time to give respite to the brave field of the TDFC Old Boys division!  The reinvigorating presence of calming comrades resulted in a well worked goal by the Red Benevolence from a throw in by Carlo Bandiera Rossa, deep in enemy real estate!
    Regrettably, the local lap dogs of the broken system chose turn a blind eye to atrocities committed in the waning minutes of the match!  Apparently the power to obscure rests literally in the hands of a keeper outside the boundaries of his rich acreage.  Lo! The heads of all are held high, whilst seething a 1-1 draw!  A real reign will come down upon the shuttered heads of the oblivious!  All Glory to the Devils of Tartan!

30's Proper, May 1st:
    May Day!  A new fire is lit for the hard workers of the Tartan Devils 30's!  And this day was no different in that regard as the forces of good shared the wealth of round ball distribution with it's many components of the squad. 
    The Nor-witchian color scheme of the kryptonic foes and the fickle way of a Jupiterian  forecaster bonded together to bring the Pub Heroes to the unsatisfying conclusion of a 3-2 setback of minor proportions, though the evasive quality of time was controlled by the Devils throughout the day.
    The clever grind of forwards led to the Young Upstart assisting the Young Pioneer on both tallies!  The support of all line brigades and Red Book instruction from the sideline lends to the clear path of Glory that is and always will be TDFC!
Photo by Jag Schubert, Ministry of Special Ops