Saturday, June 11, 2011

All Fronts Dispatch: RE: June 4, 5

40's Old Boys, June 4th:
    After many moons away from the safety of the level playing Field of Our Founders, the invasion of So Called 1966 came and went, but not without leaving behind information valuable to future events.
    Cohesiveness was not in question as Agent 19 directed a cross from the Ministry of Health to the back of the net to rally the start of the day! Unluckily, the limited volley of return fire in the form of guided missiles served as answer enough to disrupt the lines of communicado amongst the baffled battalion of Pub Heroes.  Bloodied but unbowed, the fight took on the revolutionary stance of singular reconnaissance and intelligence gathering!  The knowledge gained will be assimilated, notice and reckoning will be served, and the mission completed.

30's Proper, June 5th:
    The Pub Heroes of the Revolutionary Force not of Navarone, but of the South Side have always held that the wilds of Trafford would present adverse conditions; From shank wielding meth-head lumpens under the bridge, shin deep chemical muck on the pitch, or even having the local dictator save the best of the worst pitches for "the kids"- who looked suspiciously like 60 year olds*.  The most recent match being no different in the litany of dissident charges against the state, the new foe being dust bowl conditions: From the sand traps on the wings to the cinders and dirt clogging the lung pits of the TDFC, one almost expected to see Comrade Woody Guthrie standing on the sidelines playing a collection of Dust Bowl Ballads for the crowd.
    Despite these shameful conditions, the mighty numbers of Devil's toppled the rivals of EEU 3-nil! Goals from the The Hawk (no relation to The Jackal), The Young Upstart and The Goldsmith brought about the pre-determined result.  Helping plow the tallies on the day were Ho Chi Neil, Stalin Head Seth, and Tommy Sickled and Hammered. The heat was intense on the day, but not as dismantling as the calm, cool class of our finest proxies from the Nation of TDFC!  LONG LIVE THE PUB!
Photo by Special Ops Jag Officer Shubert
*The Ministry of WTF has declared that this must be to 'the fracking'.

23's Young Ones, June 5th:
    The calm nothingness of the day belied the further lack of tension between the Young Ones Brigade and the mannequined masses from behind the grey walls of an institution that has stolen their moxy and sucked dry their will to perform above a measured disposition... but a 3-2 victory was the outcome nonetheless for the Pub Heroes of TDFC, resisting the pull of the Prozac Nation before them!
    The score box was raided quickly by Derek the Elder Equal, as he took the teachings of collectiveness and for the good of all, scored off of the oppositions tactical error of Enronesque proportions!  Comrade Corstenkov took a pass from the Ministry of Correct Thought and recorded the first goalie nutmeg in the history of the Beautiful Game!  All glory to the might of the People!  An impromptu alliance with the Keepers Wish Foundation granted General Varga the opportunity to live his dreams as a striker in the second half.  The ensuing chaos resulted in what would have been an assist for the net minder, but instead led to the game winning goal from a PK taken by the aforementioned Elder of Equals of the Mac Ministry.
    Pub Stasi has reported that in a show of corporate sportsmanship, the losing team of Internationals put in their bid to buy the next games win, stating that they are 'owed'.  Nani nani boo boo, stick your head in doo doo.  Glory to the Pub!